"He reveals mysteries from the darkness
And brings the deep darkness into light."
Job 12:22
I was looking for something God's Word had to say about mysteries tonight, because that's where I am right now. All this health stuff is as good as a mystery. I was taken by this verse.... "He reveals mysteries from the darkness and brings the deep darkness into light."
Well, inside my body -- everyone's body -- is dark. Deep darkness, actually, because no light can shine very far inside my skin. Kinda like a deep cave when the lights are turned out. And what is going on inside of me is not readily apparent. To me, a mystery. There is comfort here, because Job says that God reveals mysteries from the darkness and brings the deep darkness into light. That's what I so desire right now. The mystery of what is going on inside my body to be revealed in His light.
Yesterday I was able to talk with my ND and we worked through the current symptoms of new and unexplained back & abdominal pain, increasing joint pain and my inability to gain weight. He had some ideas about what might be going on and possibilities for tackling the issues.
Most pressing is this back pain right now. Because of the nature of it, he thought it might be disk related and recommended that I be checked by x-ray to either confirm or eliminate that possibility. This morning was a difficult one, and I went to Urgent Care to have that imaging done. The results show no significant disk issues. The radiologist will be reading the films also, and I should hear tomorrow if there is any nuance that the doctor missed. According to labs, there is no infection present, nor does there seem to be any issue with bladder or kidneys. So. Mystery.
Because there is abdominal pain associated with the back pain, I've begun to wonder if there isn't more intestinal stuff going on rather than structural.
We talked about my joint pain probably being detox-related and some treatment options for that, as well as possibilities for why I still can't gain weight, and some treatment options there, too. I'm working to effect those additions as quickly as possible.
Last night, Jessie gathered some precious saints who came and prayed over me. It was a rich time of sharing in Scripture, prayer and song. One of the things that stood out to me, perhaps to many of us, is that God's priorities are not always ours. His priority is always the inner man, the inner fruit, and if He says 'no' to a request of mine, it's because He wants to focus on my inner man. My relationship with Him. So, at this point, that is my assumption in this journey on which I find myself. He is working on my inner man, and the outer is going through some tough stuff. Mysterious stuff, for which medicine is having a hard time finding cause.
That is my update for now. My heart is desiring a revelation of the mysteries of what is wrong in my body, whether they be rooted in physical, emotional and/or spiritual causes. I would so appreciate you joining in praying with us in that regard, but more than that, that His work in me would be fruitful. That His reasons for saying 'no' right now to healing would not be fruitless in my life. That His work would be accomplished, and that I won't stand in the way. He has promised to complete the work He has begun and conform me to the image of His Son, and I don't want to be a hindrance, you know?
Thank you for praying with us, still. :-) You are all precious to me.
How you can pray:
~ Revelation of the mysteries of my illness, in His timing.
~ That His priorities will be accomplished, in spite of me, if necessary.