No news, just some encouragement that helped me.....

Nothing new to report here, but the Lord has been talking to me again about His strength versus my strength, and different facets of that, and I wanted to share this.  I love how He repeats Himself and helps me to hear Him by doing that.

"Living in dependence on Me is a glorious adventure.  Most people scurry around busily, trying to accomplish things through their own strength and ability.  Some succeed enormously; others fail miserably.  But both groups miss what life is meant to be: living and working in collaboration with Me.

When you depend on Me continually, your whole perspective changes.  You see miracles happening all around, while others see only natural occurrences and "coincidences."  You begin each day with joyful expectation, watching to see what I will do.  You accept weakness as a gift from Me, knowing that My Power plugs in most readily to consecrated weakness.*  You keep your plans tentative, knowing that My plans are far superior.  You consciously live, move, and have your being in Me,** desiring that I live in you.  I in you, and you in Me.***  This  is the intimate adventure I offer you." From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

*2 Corinthians 12:9-10   **Acts 17:28   ***John 14:20

It makes me think of a line in my favorite hymn, Be Thou My Vision.....

"be Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one."

The history of the hymn is fascinating to me.  Apparently it originated in the 6th century in Old Irish, was translated into English in 1905 by Mary Elizabeth Byrne, and then was versified in 1912 by Eleanor Hull and is how we know it today.  Such great words of truth!

Be Thou My Vision 

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,

Be all else but naught to me, save that thou art;

Thou my best thought in the day and the night,

Both waking and sleeping, thy presence my light 

Be thou my wisdom, be thou my true word,

Be thou ever with me, and I with thee Lord;

Be thou my great Father, and I thy true son;

Be thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one. 

Be thou my breastplate, my sword for the fight;

Be thou my whole armour, be thou my true might;

Be thou my soul's shelter, be thou my strong tower:

O raise thou me heavenward, great Power of my power. 

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise:

Be thou mine inheritance now and always;

Be thou and thou only the first in my heart;

O Sovereign of Heaven, my treasure thou art. 

High King of Heaven, thou Heaven's bright sun,

O grant me its joys after victory is won!;

Great heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be thou my vision, O Ruler of all.

Next Steps.....

"My grace is sufficient for you,

for power is perfected in weakness."

Most gladly, therefore,

I will rather boast about my weaknesses,

so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

"Grow strong in your weakness.  Some of My children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina.  Others, like you, have received the humble gift of frailty.  Your fragility is not a punishment, nor does it indicate lack of faith.  On the contrary, weak ones like you must live by faith, depending on Me to get you through the day.  I am developing your ability to trust Me, to lean on Me, rather than on your understanding.  Your natural preference is to plan out your day, knowing what will happen when.  My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting Me to guide you and strengthen you as needed.  This is how you grow strong in your weakness."  From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

This was my devotional reading for yesterday, and I've read it again several times in the past 24 hours.  It is a sweet encouragement to me in the midst.  Frailty and fragility are the things that He is using to to teach me dependence on Him.  Not fight it.  Not try to plan myself out of it.  But relax into trusting Him to give me what I need when I need it.  There is great peace in that.  Not that it isn't hard.  It is.  So very hard at times.  But hard doesn't have to equal turmoil, distress or fear.  So, I thank Him for this very apt Word for me right now.  I love how He does that.  I love Him.

So, after praying and talking and praying some more, Dale and I have decided that I should go back to my original ND, who is a vibrant believer as well as a really good doctor, and see if he can put the pieces together of this 3 1/2-year-long puzzle. I go on the 11th of this month.  That gives me a little time to put together a chronology of the past year's events since I last conferred with him.

As has been characteristic of this journey, God has continued to provide the resources necessary to continue walking the medical path in front of us.  We thank those of you who have blessed us with gifts, and praise God for His provision through His saints.  We are so incredibly grateful.

How you can pray for us:

• My ability to assemble a clear representation of the events and treatments of the past year, the meds I've taken, and the resultant state in which I currently am.
• Encouragement for Dale in the midst.  It's so hard for him to watch me go through this.
• Ditto for the rest of my family.
• Supernatural wisdom for Dr. Matt when I see him on the 11th.  He asks for it every time.  I ask for it for him every time.  Please join us in this request as we expect God to answer.  I pray Colossians 1:9-11 all the time for my doctors and for us as we sift through all the information that comes across my desk, so to speak.

Thank you so much for praying with us.  You are a blessing, each one.

Behold, your God will come.........

Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble. 

Say to those with anxious heart, "Take courage, fear not.

Behold, your God will come........."

Then the eyes of the blind will be opened

And the ears of the deaf will be unstopped. 

Then the lame will leap like a deer,

And the tongue of the mute will shout for joy.

For waters will break forth in the wilderness

And streams in the Arabah. 

A highway will be there, a roadway,

And it will be called the Highway of Holiness.....

.....the redeemed will walk there, 

And the ransomed of the LORD will return

And come with joyful shouting to Zion,

With everlasting joy upon their heads.

They will find gladness and joy,

And sorrow and sighing will flee away. 

Isaiah 35, selections from verses 1-10

Sometimes I go awhile without writing because there is nothing really new.  Or I feel as if I should just be quiet for a time.  Sometimes I don't want to share because it's the same old thing......no good news.  Some days, like today, I feel the need to write and ask for the prayers of the saints because I am discouraged, frustrated and confused.  Isaiah 35 talks about encouraging the exhausted and strengthening the feeble, speaking truth to those who are anxious.  I need that, and I'm so grateful that His Word always speaks to every situation, is new no matter how many times I read it.  Today is no exception.  I look forward to that part at the end where sorrow and sighing flee away.  :-)

Dale and I covet your prayers as we once again try to figure out the next step.  It seems that every treatment I've undergone has resulted in me feeling worse.  In treating the possibility of Candida, I've been on Nystatin, - two different types - for weeks now with no improvement.  And the past few days have been pretty rugged.

So many thoughts are running through my head as to what to do.  Information from past doctors, new information from outside sources and people who have walked this path, a longing for someone to be able to put all the pieces together and really determine what is going on.

Please pray with us, once again, for God to give light to our path.  And we need wisdom, always.  James says if we ask in faith, without doubting, He will give wisdom.  And Paul's prayer in Colossians 1 is a foundation for me....."I ask that you will be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."

I rest in His sovereignty, asking that He bring glory to Himself through my life and its trials, at the same time longing for health.

Thank you for joining us in prayer so faithfully.  And your gentle inquiries and encouraging words also mean a great deal.  Bless you, each one.

A Quick Update

Dear Ones, this is just a quick update to let you know that I've started the new meds (Nystatin) for Candida yeast overgrowth, which the insurance is covering, praise God.  The meds can make me feel as bad as the disease and it continues to be a rough patch.  However, since it appears that the meds are making me feel sick, that would seem to indicate that there is an overgrowth of Candida, so we'll stay the course and see how things go over the next couple of months.

I so appreciate your prayers during these coming weeks.  It's really a day-at-a-time, sometimes an hour-at-a-time getting through the nausea and tiredness when they hit hard.  It helps to have low-key things to do, so I try to have projects at hand to distract me, so to speak.  :-)

In the midst, my dear daughter Jessie has a wonderful blog post today about the centrality of Christ.  It brought a sense of undergirding to me today.  She is a wonderful writer and if you'd like to read it and perhaps be blessed as I was, you can read it here.

Thanks so much for praying.  I'll keep you updated as we go along here.

Every Day......

In this you greatly rejoice,

even though now for a little while, if necessary,

you have been distressed by various trials, 

so that the proof of your faith,

being more precious than gold which is perishable,

even though tested by fire,

may be found to result in

praise and glory and honor

at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

1 Peter 1:6 & 7

Over two years ago, I posted this verse and these song lyrics in an update on this blog.  I was looking at the lyrics again tonight and realized how the truth of them remains through the days and months of life, because they are based on the truth of Scripture.  I love this song.  I can now offer a link to it on YouTube.

Every Day

In Your grace You know where I walk.

You know when I fall, You know all my ways.

In Your love I know You allow

what I cannot grasp to bring You praise.

Thank You for the trial,

for the fire, for the pain.

Thank You for the strength,

Knowing You have ordained every day.

Your great power is shown when I'm weak.

You help me to see Your love in this place.

Perfect peace is filling my mind

and drawing my heart to praise You again.

In my uncertainty, Your Word is all I need

to know You're with me every day.

Joel Sezebel and Todd Twining

The past two weeks have been another rough patch along the trail.  I've been blessed with two good days, one of which was today and the other of which was last Thursday, and an incredible gift.  I was able to go to Tillamook with some of my quilt group and view antique quilts at the Latimer Textile and Quilt Center.  If you'd like, you can read about our day here.  It was fabulous and I'm so grateful to the Lord for blessing me with that day.

I talked with my doctor again yesterday, a week earlier than anticipated.  I've been struggling with a number of new symptoms and I'm just so confused.  The doctor thinks there's a good chance that Candida yeast has reared its ugly head, so we'll be treating for that as soon as the insurance company gets on board.  I dealt with the same thing about 25 years ago when my daughter Maggie was a baby.  In some people it just never really goes away, and vigilance is the best treatment.  While my diet isn't conducive to feeding yeast, all the meds I've been taking can trigger a flare.  So, we'll see what happens when I start the new meds.  If it is yeast, I'll be experiencing die-off symptoms (which can be pretty tough) and then we'll know.  If nothing happens, we're probably barking up the wrong tree.

I'm going to close for tonight, but I'll write again soon and let you know how things are going.

Bless you, each one.

Quick Update

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 

  who comforts us in all our affliction

so that we will be able to comfort those

who are in any affliction with the comfort

with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

How I've found this to be true.  Affliction causes a deeper appreciation and understanding of the suffering of others.  I pray that mine will produce the ability to comfort others as God has comforted me.

I have completed the most recent course of antibiotic treatment recommended by my new doctor.  At this point, there doesn't seem to be any change in my symptoms.  I'm taking an intensive course of probiotics for the next few weeks and we'll see if that increases the number of good bacteria in my system.  He says that usually in about a month, the allergy issues show improvement if all allergens have been avoided.  I'm doing well on that point, so we'll see if the next couple of weeks show any difference in that arena.

For the past 5 days, I've been beset with major flu-like nausea again.  It's been awhile since it's been this bad.  I'd appreciate prayer as we continue to walk this path.

Bless each of you for your involvement in our lives through prayer and encouragement.  We're so grateful.

Good Information.....

Therefore, having been justified by faith,

we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 

through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith

into this grace in which we stand;

and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations,

knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 

and perseverance, proven character;

and proven character, hope; 

and hope does not disappoint,

because the love of God

has been poured out within our hearts

through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5:2-5

In my devotions lately, I've been reading in Romans.  Oh, what a book.  This particular passage hit home all over again, and I am encouraged by it.

In Romans 8, Paul talks about the fact that we have been saved in hope, "but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?" (8:24)  Having hope for something that is as yet unseen is an amazing thing.  It keeps me going.

Truly, "while there is life, there is hope."  We'd smother without it.

So, we are once again on the threshold of hope with my health journey.

I talked with my new doctor today to review the allergy and stool testing results.  There are 3 really interesting pieces of information:

1.  I am highly allergic to eggs and almonds, as well as to several other specific foods, but to a lesser degree.

2. My stool test reveals that I have only one opportunistic bacteria that is overgrown and that the populations of 6 out of 8 good bacteria are way too low.  There are no pathogenic bacteria or parasite issues.  Nothing is showing on yeast either, though that is a hard one to really determine because they know how to hide really well.

3. The test they ran for my sensitivity or resistance to various pharmaceutical and botanical antibiotics shows that I am resistant to four of the 23 for which I was tested.  Two of them are Allin (garlic) and Rifaxamin.  These are the two that we used to treat SIBO which resulted in higher levels of bacterial overgrowth.  What an amazing thing to discover!

So, the treatment plan is first to avoid the foods to which I am allergic.  And second, to use Berberine, a botanical antibiotic, which the doctor believes will get rid of the opportunistic bacteria strain, and then take a high-powered probiotic to build up the good bacteria which I am lacking.

The outlook from the doctor's perspective is that I will probably be experiencing die-off for the next few weeks, which is normal and I've been through it before.  And then that I should be noticing a difference within about a month in how I'm feeling and how my gut is working.

Time will tell, and during the ensuing month, hope will win.  Again.

Thank you for praying with us.  I'll let you know how it's going as we progress through June and July!